I stare at the screen a few moments longer, maybe as if waiting for something to happen- nothing.

I sit back and swallow a lump of sadness, when I opened my eyes today I'd hoped that things would be different, or at least that the aching would have subsided; but here somewhere between my grief and what is left of my heart indeed it lives and grows stronger everyday. And so I sit in silence just as I suffer, still waiting and for whatever reason hoping that things will get better. But they never do, and surely if I am granted a moment of happiness it is shortly perpetuated by my own  sorrow. 

   I live

 As I breathe

   As I die

And live no more

A

  zombie

lifeless

but still

living

Empty

but

full

of

grief

Deeply

shallow SO  LOUD!

Forever the silence

wanting   by

of deafened

the      see

one I

thing  that

I'll all

Always by

never  blinded

have

There I wonder, There I wait

There I wait, there I wonder

To end it all, part from this ill fated world

this place where everyone waits in silence and in suffering

I will not be them

And so my love he grants me this

with a poisonous kiss from thy true loves lips

ever more slipping into the depths of eternity

Whether it be Hell's flames or Heavens halls 

or simply space and time- there I wait

there I wonder, there I am 

ever more, ever more

To find a path or blaze one

this place where everyone follows the same

I will not be them

And so my courage grants me this

with razor edged tongue

that cuts and bleeds truth

ever more fleeing from the sight of ignorance

Whether it be out in the world

or the confines of mine own 

there I wait, there I wonder,

there I am

ever more, ever more

-